The Sexuality Trap, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Mind

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and guys utilize love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where songs analyze good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther since for these songs, having sex carries immense meaning and repercussions.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will be great too).

B.more commonly, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), makings the chance to have sex with somebody we are brought in to exceptionally tough to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are involuntary and strong , leading to effective sensations of tourist attraction, excitement, love, well-being, and nearness .

However when problems emerge, click site those who fall under the Sex Trap typically justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is fantastic!" They more than likely wouldn't confess it, however they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay males, says that a lot of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males specifically in metropolitan areas, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".

North includes, "I believe this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is crucial. Yet, chemistry is a provided that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either see here now there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow with time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off my response and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means integrating chemistry with common sense. While great sex is important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, requirements, goals, and worths -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!

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